The Curse of the Pink Kryptonite
by keen123
Summary: Clark is shocked when a throng of young pretty girls, Lois and Lana (not a surprise) become infatuated with him. He soon learns there is a new kind of kryptonite responsible for their behaviour- and enlists his trusty sidekick Chloe to investigate.
1. Crater Lake mystery

It was a warm, sunny day in Smallville and Clark as usual was completing his chores. Of course, it took him about two hours less than a normal person, he was extraordinary. Shelby was watching him in the barn as he baled some hay and then worked on chopping some wood. He had worked up quite a sweat, so his Mum had prepared some lemonade for him in the kitchen.

"Hi Clark," said a familiar voice. He spun around to see Lana, the girl of his dreams walking into the barn. Her dark hair glistened in the sunlight as he almost had one of his fire-starter moments. She was holding the fresh, cool glass of lemonade that Martha had made for her son.

"Lana?" he asked, surprised. "I thought you were in Metropolis for the weekend."

She shook her head. "Nell was busy with Dean so I decided to stay closer to home. Here this is for you."

He took the glass with both hands and gulped it down in one sip. Lana looked a little surprised, but she was used to his insatiable appetite more now having spent more time with him. They were together again, and Clark was convinced that even the pressure of him keeping his secret would not be able to break them up again.

"Did you want to go do something?" she asked, before grabbing his arm and staring into his eyes. Once that happened, Clark was like her puppet. She had never got really close to a meteor rock but if she did mind control would be her ability.

"Yeah, it's a scorcher. Let's go to the lake, I guess. We can call Lois and Chloe…" he suggested.

"It can't just be us?" she asked. He wasn't receiving the signal. Lana wanted to be alone with him. Ever since his powers returned he knew that was risky business.

"Oh, you mean? Um, well…" he stammered. Lana noticed his slightly panicked state.

"It's okay. I wasn't suggesting anything… physical. Just a swim, a sunbathe, besides there'll be other people there. It won't be like your dream where we were skinny-dipping," she giggled cheekily. He was a little embarrassed about that. It was the perfect moment, if only a mystery girl hadn't interrupted it. Shelby barked and then growled a little. In walked a bald man with a trademark expensive trench coat and pants. It was Clark's former best friend Lex Luthor, who had been on Clark and his girlfriend's bad side recently.

"I'll go grab some things from my dorm and meet you back here in a couple of hours," Lana told Clark as she left the barn. Lex smirked at her huffy exit.

"Well, I'm still not on her Christmas card list," the billionaire commented.

"Still not on mine either. You know that security laser really hurt. Can't believe you thought I was some kind of indestructible freak," Clark quipped, and then turned side on to his former buddy.

"I'm here to speak to your parents. I want to donate some money to your father's campaign." Lex said.

It was Clark's turn to smirk this time. "You're running against him. Why would you donate money to his campaign? You trying to buy him off? Because the Johnathan Kent I know would not stoop to accepting money from a Luthor to win the race for senate."

"Look, my father is going to make the same offer. I want to get in before him to show Johnathan that he can trust me. My father will expect something in return if he donates to the campaign. I on the other hand, just want to make it a fair race."

Clark began to laugh. His father was running against a billionaire who owned a heap of companies, had endless influence and all the cash in the world. How was this face fair?

"You can take your money and shove it wherever you want. My dad's not going to want it either so go back to your mansion and spend it on a nuclear bomb or something," Clark retorted, dismissing Lex coldly. Lex didn't say anything else, turned around and left. He jumped into his Porsche and sped off, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

Lana and Clark arrived at Crater Lake, a nice hang out spot for college students, families and school goers. Some were taking a dip in the refreshing water that glistened in the sun, others were playing volleyball and throwing a football to each other. Clark felt tempted to join his old teammates, but he had promised Lana a romantic afternoon. He tried to forget everyone else wasn't there. He kissed Lana on the cheek and then she responded by locking lips with the ex-star quarterback.

"So what did Lex want?" asked Lana, killing the moment. Clark sighed. It was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

"You know, trying to manipulate everyone with his good guy act. He's plotting to take over the world, and if he gets into a senate seat that's what he's going to do. He's a clever guy. He just has to offer a bit of financial support to people and they get brainwashed by him. But he won't brainwash my Dad, oh no."

"Hopefully the people of Kansas will see sense and vote Johnathan Kent into office," Lana replied. She rested her head against Clark's shoulder. The scene was perfect, two lovers sitting on a beach enjoying each other's company. Nothing could spoil it.

"Hey Smallville!" Lois Lane remarked in a voice that was still nails on a chalkboard to Clark. Well, he enjoyed the peace while it lasted.

"Lois. I don't think that swimsuit is your style." She looked down at herself. In fact, it was quite flashy. A red bikini that didn't show too much flesh, and that hugged the curves of her body.

"Clark, that's mean. I think it looks great Lois," Lana defended her, much to Clark's dismay. Lana knew what it was like to be a girl who was constantly judged for her looks. In fact, she was probably the only girl likely to win Miss Smallville until the tall, leggy and classically beautiful brunette Lois showed up.

"Besides, when did you become the fashion police? If you had your way, it would be flannel, flannel and more flannel." She had him there. His limited wardrobe did contain a lot of uninspired outfits. Lana giggled at Lois' comment, and Clark shook his head.

"Where's Chloe? She didn't want to come down?" asked Clark.

"No, I think between college and working at the Planet she's gone into overdrive. No one wants to see a stressed girl's head explode into a million pieces," Lois answered.

"Well Lana, did you want to hit the water soon?" Clark asked as he removed his shirt to show his muscular torso. Lana nodded and stripped down into her pink bikini. She smiled and wrinkled her nose the way she does when she's happy and then linked arms with Clark as he playfully tried to pick her up and throw her in the water.

"No Clark, don't. Stop!" she pleaded with him jokingly and the two of them laughed before Clark cradled her and then collapsed into the shallows. They shared another kiss as Lois rolled her eyes on the shore.

"Come on tidal wave," she said under her breath and then ran into the lake to join the lovebirds. As she did, she noticed something eerily strange on the bottom of the lake. She could see a pink glow, and it wasn't from Lana's two-piece swimwear. It kind of looked like meteor rock. But why would it be pink in colour? Lois had never seen anything like it before. She came up for air just in time to see her "friend" Clark and the love of his life Lana wrap up their kissing session.

"Lois are you all right?" asked Lana, who noticed Lois looking a little puzzled. Lois regained her bearings and dismissed what she saw as an optical illusion. But then she felt a really funny feeling course through her. Clark was starting to look real good to her. She was seeing him in a different light. Uh-oh. Was Lois Lane falling for Clark Kent?

"Yeah, I'm fine. See you later hot stuff," she said in a sexy voice and then jumped out of the water, looking back at Clark with a cheeky grin on her face. Lana was the one looking confused now.

"Was she talking to you or me?" Lana asked, hoping it was the latter.


	2. Ladies' Man

Clark sat at a table in the Talon coffee house as he waited for his raven-haired girlfriend to arrive. He checked his watch multiple times. Lana was usually punctual, what could have happened? Maybe she was freaked out by what happened at the Lake. Was Lois really directing her amorous comment towards the future Man of Steel? Or was it just the neurotic college drop-out being herself? He pondered these thoughts as a red-haired woman walked up to him.

"Excuse me Clark," she said in a sweet voice and leaned in a little too close, "You're a football hero. I wouldn't mind getting your autograph if that's okay." She was so near to him he could smell the thick layers of perfume she had drenched herself in. She handed him a picture of himself in football gear.

"Sure. Where'd you get this anyway?" he asked, a little curious and slightly taken aback. He had to admit she was a good-looking girl, possibly in her early twenties. He however had a girlfriend who was on her way to meet him.

"Did some digging. It wasn't hard to find. Anyway, there's a little party at my house tonight. I have a Jacuzzi, if you catch my drift," she suggested.

"Oh, really? Umm, I kind of have plans," he told her, seeing Lana walk through the front door. The redhead turned around and looked at Lana despairingly. She then ripped the pen out of the Clark's hand after he finished signing the picture and gazed at him with contempt.

"With her? Are you kidding? You know there are girls out there that are less high maintenance. Forget about the hot-tub," she hissed, and then stormed out, brushing past Lana on the way and almost giving her a shoulder bump as she did so. Lana looked back at her with a frown. Clark looked down, trying not to make eye-contact. He didn't cheat on her but he still felt guilty about having a close encounter with another girl. It was weird, first Lois practically hit on him at the Lake, and now another beauty had given him a not so subtle hint she was interested.

"Who was that?" asked Lana.

"Some fan of mine. A very eager fan," Clark muttered. He could sense Lana becoming uneasy. "She just wanted an autograph." Lana smiled. Clark wasn't always honest with her, but this time she knew he was.

"Guess I have to get used to dating the ex-star quarterback. You'd think it'd be easy after Whitney, but…" Then she trailed off as she tried not to remember what happened with the talented marine.

"So can I buy you a coffee?" asked Clark. Lana nodded, and as he went to order it, Lois once again appeared.

"Hey handsome," Lois beamed at Clark. Now something was definitely wrong. She didn't call him 'Smallville' or 'Clark'. And the grin on her face was too wide. Normally she would scowl at him, and that was on a good day. He took her aside, out of Lana's sight and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Okay Lois, what's going on? You're acting like really strange, almost like some kind of stalker," Clark told her. The smile waned a little bit, but Lois shrugged off his comment.

"What do you mean? I'm just happy to see you. Is that a new shirt? Way to go not wearing the plaid for once. I think you look so suave without it. And that smells like cologne." She stared into his eyes and pushed a strand of dark brown hair out of his face.

"You know," Lois continued, "I had a dream about you. Flying around in a suit with underpants on the outside of all things. It was kind of a turn-on."

Clark pushed her away from him. This was getting too intense for his liking.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but we're friends. Lana and I are happy together, and you or any other girl aren't going to ruin it," Clark reprimanded, and left a dissatisfied Lois standing in one of the store rooms.

"Okay Smallville have it your way, but if she breaks your heart, don't come running to me," Lois half-yelled as Clark returned to the counter to order Lana's cappuccino. He then returned to the table with a sigh. What was causing this erratic behaviour in Lois? I mean the redhead could just have been a promiscuous college girl, but he didn't think this was a coincidence.

"Thank you Clark. What took so long anyway?" Lana asked. This time he had to lie. If she knew the truth, there would be trouble.

"Nothing. I just saw a friend I knew from Smallville High, that's all," he told her. The explanation seemed good enough for her as she sipped her coffee and used her other hand to hold Clark's.

Clark super-sped home from the Talon to find Chloe in his loft. It went through his head that she might be the latest to exhibit unusual behaviour. He took off his trademark red coat and headed up the stairs. Shelby wagged her tail as Clark reached his unofficial Fortress of Solitude. Chloe was stroking the dog's fur while he wondered why she was there waiting for him.

"So date night went well, huh?" Chloe questioned, not meaning to pry. Clark smiled. He and Chloe could literally tell each other anything.

"Yeah, it did. But I've been having a pretty strange day. At the lake and at the Talon, Lois kind of… flirted with me. And some random red-haired girl also got up close and personal."

Chloe's jaw almost dropped to the floor. She had once had a crush on Clark, but couldn't believe he was getting so many offers.

"So you're Smallville's resident chick magnet? There must be something in the water," Chloe remarked. Clark half-chuckled at the comment, not fully grasping the joke.

"I mean literally," the blonde reporter said, "You say the first time Lois hit on you was at Crater Lake? Is it possible that there was some kind of underwater phenomenon that triggered the 'Love Clark' impulse in her?"

Clark tried to think back and mentally retrace his steps from earlier in the day. "Hmm… you might be right Chloe. Can't put my finger on it, but I could sense something fishy, pardon the pun, going on in the water."

"I guess our next step is to investigate," Chloe told him.

"We shouldn't go there though," Clark blurted out. "If whatever it is can control your actions too, then that would be awkward. And I need your mind at its sharpest if we're going to figure out this mystery."

Just then Clark and Chloe heard a commotion outside. It sounded like a group of girls cheering. Then surely enough, the old cheer squad for Smallville High rocked up at Clark's barn and put on a rather impressive show for him.

"Give me a C, give me an L, give me an A, give me an R, give me a K. What's that spell?" yelled the head cheerleader.

"Trouble," finished Chloe as the girls, complete with their old outfits and pompoms made their way up the stairs and surrounded an uncomfortable Clark.

"Chloe, help me." Clark begged his friend, but she was too busy dying of laughter. He had to admit, it was rather amusing. The girls cosied up to Clark and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

"How's our favourite quarterback?" asked one of them, with dark hair and skin.

"I've never stopped thinking about you since high school," said another, a brunette with the whitest teeth Clark had ever seen. Almost on cue, Lana arrived at the barn to follow up their date with a private moment with Clark but he had some explaining to do. With cheerleaders, faces she had seen at school, on his lap and cuddling up to him it wasn't the perfect time for her to walk in.

"I can see you have company so I'll just come back… in about a hundred years," Lana snapped angrily, and began to stomp out of the barn. Clark pursued her, and grabbed her arm.

"Lana! It's not what it looks like. Okay, something weird has been going on. Remember today at the lake when Lois was acting strange? Well at the Talon tonight that girl was doing the same and now these cheerleaders have just shown up out of the blue. I'm not cheating on you, me and Chloe have a theory that there's a mysterious object at Crater Lake that is acting like a magnet and making me the most eligible bachelor in town," he explained. Lana smiled cheekily and then jumped into his arms, kissing him passionately.

"I know, you're a ladies man. And these skanks aren't getting their claws on you," she announced, then called to all of the girls upstairs. "EVERYBODY OUT! That includes you Chloe! Lana's home!"

So Lana was the next one to add to the list of attractive girls who want to seduce Clark. He rolled his eyes and sighed as Lana attempted to take off his shirt.

"Whoa, easy Lana," he told her and then used his little love tap to knock her out…


	3. Lois v Lana and Clark v Luthorcorp

THIRD AND FINAL CHAPTER

Clark waited around at the _Daily Planet _newspaper building for Chloe, the budding reporter. He was sure she was just zipping around running errands for her bosses, trying to make a good impression as she had only just landed the job and her only article so far was about a European man who kidnapped Lois. She also had to purchase her afternoon latte, which was loaded with caffeine so she could get through the day. After a while of watching people walk in and out of the basement floor of the Planet, Clark finally spotted the short-haired blonde. She looked like she was exhausted.

"Phew…" she said as she reached her desk and saw Clark sitting down in her chair. She placed the coffee, along with a stack of paperwork on the desk and motioned for him to move out of her seat. "Talk about a big day," she continued as she picked up the cup and took a sip. She spat the coffee out, narrowly missing the paper and the keyboard of her computer.

"Ice cold," she muttered as the look on her face resembled disgust, "Clark…. You know what to do."

He grabbed the cup out of her hand and focused his eyes on it. Then beams of heat came out of his retinas and soon steam was coming out of Chloe's latte.

"Thank you so much," she said, "I've been having such a crazy day."

Clark nodded. He knew the feeling. He had been trying to hide from Lana and dodge Lois, as well as about thirty other girls who suddenly thought he was Prince Charming.

"This whole situation with the obsessed young women, it's doing my head in," he told her. "I thought you were going to be the next one to declare your undying love for me."

Chloe once again chuckled, then after sipping the coffee which was now piping hot thanks to Clark's in-built microwave, she pulled up a file on the computer.

"I've been looking into the mysterious activity that's been occurring in Crater Lake, and well… you might want to take a look at this," Chloe began, as Clark moved closer to get a better view. On the screen he could see a few pictures of what looked like a pink rock, at first he just thought it was some kind of jewel but then was astounded to discover it was a type of kryptonite. Chloe zoomed in and enhanced the image, which was taken with an underwater camera.

"Pink Krypto?" she asked, "I didn't know it existed," she continued.

"That's because it doesn't. I know of red, but pink?" he replied, scratching his head.

"It could explain why all the girls are drawn to you," Chloe suggested.

"Maybe red K turns pink when it's been underwater for a period of time," Clark said, "But wouldn't it affect my personality? Not theirs'."

"It's definitely strange. And we need to find a way to get rid of it. If there's anything we've learned, it's that meteor rocks turn people dangerous."

Lana was walking through Metropolis University campus trying to get a hold of Clark on her phone. She wasn't sure what had happened the previous night, she had kind of blacked it out. But she'd returned to her normal self, not the crazy jealous girlfriend she had been at the barn when she saw Clark with all the pretty former high school girls. Clark knocking her out must have got rid of the pink meteor rock in her system. She dialled for about the fifth time, but Clark wasn't picking up.

"Hi, it's me… Lana, again. I'm sorry about the way I acted last night. I wasn't myself, it's just you were with all those… that's no excuse, I behaved like a green-eyed monster. Just call me back and we'll talk."

Lana hung up, put her phone away and then was struck in the back by an unknown force and knocked to the ground. She turned around to see what had attacked her- it was Lois, who had a look of fury in her eyes. She also had a pretty devastating karate kick. Lana grabbed her back in agony as she tried to pick herself up, but Lois grabbed her hair and began to pull.

"Ow!" she cried, but her assailant did not let up. Lana's instincts kicked into gear. She remembered her training with Lex as she crawled free from Lois' grasp and jumped to her feet, sizing her opponent up.

"There's something wrong with you Lois," she said as she met Lois' stare, and then aimed a kick at her stomach. It almost knocked the wind out of the feisty Miss Lane and she stumbled back, but was resolute about trying to off Lana.

"If I get you out of the way, he'll be all mine," Lois told her as she puffed, and then ran towards Lana with a full head of steam, tackling the college freshman. Lana had acted out this charade before with Chloe at Smallville High, when she was brainwashed. Although this time Lois was the one not thinking straight. A crowd had gathered to watch the fight, all cheering and hollering and some wolf-whistling at the prospect of a cat fight. Lois and Lana rolled along the ground, Lois getting the upper hand with her bigger frame and upper-body strength. She was the daughter of a general after all. Lana got in a few scratches and slaps to the face of her opponent before campus security arrived and separated the fiery young women. Lana was pretty angry as she tried to break free from their grasps and Lois almost did, clawing at the air in the direction of Lana.

Clark and Chloe did a little more digging back at her dorm at Met U and discovered that the pink kryptonite was dumped in the water and written off as a failed experiment by _Luthorcorp_. Which of course meant that Clark would once again go head-to-head with the younger Luthor. He arrived at the Mansion with his usual indignant look on his face when suspected Lex of doing something corrupt. Lex was in his study, reading some reports quietly when Clark stormed in.

"Lex! You've been dumping in the water again. Didn't you learn your lesson after what happened with Leviathan?" Clark accused.

"Hi Lex. How have you been? Is that really so hard? Why do you always have to interrogate me in my own house? Security!" Lex returned serve.

"If you weren't doing anything dodgy I wouldn't have to ask questions. But your actions affect the people around you, the environment." Clark turned even redder, especially when as usual it appeared that Lex didn't give a crap.

"If your moral lesson is over, I have more important matters to attend to," Lex replied with a smirk, then resumed looking at the documents on the desk. He then told the guards that he would let himself out.

Lana and Lois nursed their injuries as they laughed about what had occurred in the last couple of days. Lois was back to normal after sleeping off whatever kryptonite was in her system.

"I cant believe you almost got me kicked out of the university," Lana told Lois as she kept an ice-pack on her shoulder, which had copped quite a blow when Lois crash tackled her.

"I'm so sorry, that was the evil Mortal Kombat version of Lois Lane. I still can't believe we were fighting over Clark Kent. As if I would ever have any romantic feelings for him. I mean, you've seen us… we're practically enemies."

Lana giggled as she straightened and combed her hair, which was in a tangled mess after the altercation.

"Yeah, you guys do have that love-to-hate relationship going on. I was acting really jealous too at the farm when I saw some of my friends from high school cuddled up to him," Lana revealed.

"How does that guy turn into Brad Pitt overnight?" asked Lois as she took a painkiller and grabbed her forehead.

"Sorry about the backhander," Lana apologised.

"Don't mention it. I was the one who started it," Lois admitted. They sat on the floor of the Talon apartment, a place that held a lot of memories for Lana, and continued to bond over their unlikely feud.

Clark super-sped to the lake after his short and pointless conversation with Lex at the Mansion, he should have known by now that confronting the rich bald man is futile. He used his X-ray vision to scan the lake for every trace of Pink K he could find and then quickly swam and grabbed each piece out one by one. There were truckloads of the stuff but of course he's faster than a speeding bullet so he retrieved it all in about 5 seconds. He then piled it all on the sand and used his heat vision to burn the rocks to a cinder. He breathed a sigh of relief. There would be no more young girls creepily chasing him, and his two female friends were back to their quiet and abrasive selves.

Clark joined Chloe, Lois and Lana at the Talon to celebrate things going back to normal. Well, for Clark that was never going to be a reality.

"So, pink meteor rock?" Lana repeated, after Chloe had explained the source of the sudden, passionate attraction they had to Clark.

"Yeah, Luthor Jr. was dumping it into the lake after a botched experiment," Chloe confirmed.

"I gave him an earful about it. Of course, a leopard never changes his spots," Clark added. They all nodded, except for Lana. She knew that sometimes Lex could be untrustworthy, but she was still friends with him. And she refused to believe he was the villain everyone else was painting him to be. As the four young people were sitting at a table sipping milkshakes, Lois dared ask the question.

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow? Anyone up for swimming?" Lois asked cheerfully. They all grinned and rolled their eyes at Lois' bad attempt at humour…


End file.
